Kinetic Half Triathlon

I feel like I should preface this race report with a little insight into my triathlon struggles. I enjoy triathlons. I enjoy training for them. But I don’t enjoy keeping a schedule and adhering to every little detail of some sort of plan. It’s just not my style. If I want to go for a long run, I will. If I want to skip training and stuff my face with cookies, I will. Also, if I did follow a training schedule, I couldn’t play in my soccer games every week, I couldn’t randomly play a game of softball or volleyball, and I couldn’t spontaneously decide that certain nights are better suited for happy hours and friends.

So with that said, here’s my slacker race report:

I woke up bright and early to head out to Lake Anna for what could possibly be a disaster. I knew there was a time in my head that I probably would be near just because I had leg strength and speed stored up from keeping active, but I also knew that with absolutely no consistent training this year, I was just out there to have some fun. No watch, no expectations, just good old 5+ hours of stupid fun.

Swim…
Goal: Don’t drown and don’t get a bad wetsuit hickey
Actual: 34:34

This was one of the big reasons I decided not to wear a watch. Sure, I spent a solid amount of the offseason hitting the weight room but when it came to actual pool hours with long swims, those were few and far between. I knew it would be brutal and I was prepared to relax as much as possible.

Right when I hit the water, boom, water fills my right goggle-eye-thingy and I attempt to tread water while fixing it. No luck. Ohh well, this just means I’m swimming the entire leg while breathing left. No biggie. The only two things I actually remember from the swim are – 1. I felt like I was going slooooooooooooooooow and 2. I knew I was zig-zagging the whole time because there were multiple points when I looked up and couldn’t even see another racer. Don’t judge me though, those orange buoys were so hard to see in the early morning fog/rain.

I had no idea what time I swam upon exiting because they didn’t have a clock but I knew it wasn’t incredible. Note to self: next time don’t be slow.

P.S. I failed on the no wetsuit hickey goal. Not cool wetsuit, not cool.

Bike…
Goal: Ride as fast as possible and save nothing in the tank for the run
Actual: 2:38:57

The bike was what it was – a long course that was mostly flat and fast, with a couple small hills and deceptive inclines. I tried to keep the speed above 22-23 mph whenever I wasn’t on a hill and just ate whenever I felt like it. A few times I could feel the bonk setting in and I’d pop a little Powerbar gel but the rest was uneventful. I pretty much just lose my mind out there and get extremely bored. Then I think of something really stupid and repeat it over and over and over again. Last year it was Miley Cyrus’ Party in the USA. This year, it was the awesome Subway commercial where the lady steals the guy’s sandwich. Try quoting that for 3 hours.

 Best. Race. Photo. Ever. (I told you I was bored)

Nothing else that was too noteworthy happened on the bike except for the large quantity of DC Tri members (yea, that’s right, I’m leaving so I can call your sh*t out) drafting off each other for huge sections of the bike. Hope yall enjoyed that free speed.

Run…
Goal: Beat my worst full marathon time
Actual: 1:56:32

This was quite the fun part in the worst way possible. After getting off the bike, I spent most of transition chatting up the race announcer who was conveniently walking around transition calling out each racer and providing an update on their performance. I was in no rush so in between him screaming into the mic, we talked about his past races and how much he loved the half Ironman distance. His PR is 4:11, yeeesh. After we exchanged phone numbers and planned a brunch date for the following day, I decided it was time to hit the old dusty trail and get my lazy a$$ out on the run course.

Now here is where I know I did something stupid. I put two pairs of shoes in transition and decided to make a gametime decision on which one I would wear. The first pair was my training pair that I had run hundreds of miles with. The second was my racing flats that I had run one mile with. Naturally, I chose the brand new pair because I thought saving the weight would help in the long run. The good – it did. The bad – the shoes caused shooting pain in my shins and I had to walk roughly 2-3 of the first 5 miles.

Around mile 7 I finally got rid of the shin splints and could start running a bit faster. I still had to run the whole race on the dirt path beside the road but at least I wasn’t wincing with each step. This was also the time where I realized I was going to bonk hard without some salty goodness. Fortunately, within 10 minutes I was at an aid station that was stocked with Chex Mix. Two handfuls later, I was running faster and smiling wider. Yummmm.

The rest of the run went by like clockwork. I finally started running somewhere around 7:30’s or 7:45’s on the final loop to make up for all that walking and I had a little gas left to sprint past two guys at the final stretch. After grabbing a coke and pizza immediately after crossing the finish line, I realized I came in somewhere around 5:15/5:16 but it wasn’t until today that I checked and got a 5:14:41.

Overall, it was nice to be back swimming, biking and running. I think my current short term future caused me to care a little less than I would have liked but I’m hoping that once I move to San Diego, I’ll catch the bug all over again. For now though, I’m just running, lifting, and enjoying my last couple weeks in DC.

I’ll be back soon triathlons, but not yet.